What About Your Friends?

Girls... go grab some tea and let's chat for a minute. We all have friends, right? I mean...ya'll are ride or die for each other, right? You share shoes, clothes, loan each other yards of hair for that flyy ass hairstyle, and they are there for you when you break up with your dude (assuming she isn't with him...yeah, it happens). My point is...you have your crew of BFFs and you all will be friends forever, right? Not so fast...Things happen and things change. Years ago no one could convince me that my best friend and I would ever lose contact with each other...or be beefing over a boy. Well...sh*t happens. We often hear about fake a$$ friends...you know the ones that like to hear about your drama, but are never there to hear about the good things going on in your life. Then there are the drama filled friends...the ones that always have something going on in their life and when you try to share you can't get a word in on any part of the conversation...it is always about them. Then there is the friend that only calls you when she needs something...be it money, an outfit, a ride somewhere, or a hook up. Then there is that one friend that swears every damn man in the world wants her...and she always calls you to go out because in her mind she looks better than you and therefore she feels she won't have any competition...sorry ladies...you have all been that person to someone at some point...if not...it is coming.

I bet you are thinking I am some angry "old" chick with no friends...quite the opposite. I'm a very happy person, but I have been hurt by people that I have considered a close friend. When I was younger a good friend to me was someone that kept my secrets, was there for me during a break up, and had my back if I had to fight...well the truth is this: some secrets are meant to be told. If you are being abused by someone...a good friend will urge you to tell...and may even offer to be there with you when you do tell. As for break ups...yes a good friend will be there, but he or she will also truthfully let you know when you are being stupid as hell behind some dude that isn't worth a bucket of your piss. And lastly... yes a real friend will have your back, but long before fist fly and razors are pulled out...SERIOUSLY...fighting is SOOO 1990s. Ladies...black eyes are not fly...besides we have a Black First Lady. Can you imagine Lady Obama's gorgeous clothing being ripped due to fighting? Umm...no! A real friend would never get things get that far. She would remind you how silly fighting is and the risks it involves. I know no one wants to look stupid or look like they got punked, but it is time to step our game up and quit worrying what other people think. I know that is hard, but try it.

As I've gotten older my guide for what I consider a friendship has changed drastically...and it may continue to do so. I said all that to say this...the good friends you do have: cherish them...and if things do go south for whatever reason...just always look back on the friendship and be thankful for it...and learn something from it.

~Miss Guide